Kids: Too Fast or Not Fast Enough?
Kids, tough subject, huh? Well, I sure have been proved wrong plenty of times. But what puzzles me is I can't make my mind up about what I think about them. Oh, I love them alright, but, as pointed out in my blog post 'Expected or Unexpected', there are no guarantees with parenting, except that time will tell. I guess I have no major regrets, they know that I love them and in return, they always let us know they love us by,... well.... just how do they let us know they love us?
Hum? Now this is where it really gets interesting, just how can love of a child be measured. See I don't buy the fact that love can't be measured. That's just a romantic application when you're actually deep in love, and happy..... right? I think we measure it all the time, well at least I think I do, subconsciously. Have you ever witnessed a relative or friend and you think to yourself, 'they are only using them, they really don't care about them'. Whatever it takes to get their way is the amount of love they will put forth. Or am I confusing love with selfishness? See, we're always eager to share our love when things are positive, take kids for example. I find it coming my way in buckets when they have my permission to do something, AND money to do it with. But just say no and you need a microscope with which to measure it. (BTW, this has never happened in my house, hehehe!) But that's life, and I know those responses are not really love, or hate, at least I hope not. Which gets me to the point of the speed which the kids become disconnected from us as parents.
Some kids grow up too fast. I would put them in the group that are cooperative, appreciative, and quick to take care of their responsibilities. We enjoy their company, for the most part. But that's not at all fair, because on the flip side some kids get in over their head and they also have grown up too fast. Just because you look like your 18 years old doesn't mean that you can handle the world of an 18 year old. Ever seen that?
Likewise with the 'not fast enough' adage. Some kids are so troublesome to the point that the parents refer to them as the one that can't move out fast enough. We don't enjoy their company. Of which, I would argue that they haven't grown up yet, or they possess those selfish characteristics and like to 'love' as long as they are getting what they want. This brings me to the further point of how fast we handle this as parents.
What are we producing? What principles are we teaching? Do they include responsibility to self and others? Do they include a sense of decency and consideration? Or, do we collectively produce a bunch of manipulative brats that we have taught to use us and the society, because others do. Parents know this as a fact: Your children are a reflection of what you have taught them. If they have learned otherwise, then you might have not spent enough time with them. I contend that it's a generational thing, for the most part, a trend or pattern that will likely be passed down from you to them and your grandchildren. If the parent doesn't take responsibility of teaching the child, then others will. What a dangerous risk.
I propose that we might consider measuring ourselves as parents by the opinion we have of our children and whether we see them as growing up 'too fast' or 'not fast enough'. Or maybe, it's us that quit on our kids 'too fast', or we take action, but, 'not fast enough'. Either way, the responsibility stays where it lays, at the feet of the parent.
Hum? Now this is where it really gets interesting, just how can love of a child be measured. See I don't buy the fact that love can't be measured. That's just a romantic application when you're actually deep in love, and happy..... right? I think we measure it all the time, well at least I think I do, subconsciously. Have you ever witnessed a relative or friend and you think to yourself, 'they are only using them, they really don't care about them'. Whatever it takes to get their way is the amount of love they will put forth. Or am I confusing love with selfishness? See, we're always eager to share our love when things are positive, take kids for example. I find it coming my way in buckets when they have my permission to do something, AND money to do it with. But just say no and you need a microscope with which to measure it. (BTW, this has never happened in my house, hehehe!) But that's life, and I know those responses are not really love, or hate, at least I hope not. Which gets me to the point of the speed which the kids become disconnected from us as parents.
Some kids grow up too fast. I would put them in the group that are cooperative, appreciative, and quick to take care of their responsibilities. We enjoy their company, for the most part. But that's not at all fair, because on the flip side some kids get in over their head and they also have grown up too fast. Just because you look like your 18 years old doesn't mean that you can handle the world of an 18 year old. Ever seen that?
Likewise with the 'not fast enough' adage. Some kids are so troublesome to the point that the parents refer to them as the one that can't move out fast enough. We don't enjoy their company. Of which, I would argue that they haven't grown up yet, or they possess those selfish characteristics and like to 'love' as long as they are getting what they want. This brings me to the further point of how fast we handle this as parents.
What are we producing? What principles are we teaching? Do they include responsibility to self and others? Do they include a sense of decency and consideration? Or, do we collectively produce a bunch of manipulative brats that we have taught to use us and the society, because others do. Parents know this as a fact: Your children are a reflection of what you have taught them. If they have learned otherwise, then you might have not spent enough time with them. I contend that it's a generational thing, for the most part, a trend or pattern that will likely be passed down from you to them and your grandchildren. If the parent doesn't take responsibility of teaching the child, then others will. What a dangerous risk.
I propose that we might consider measuring ourselves as parents by the opinion we have of our children and whether we see them as growing up 'too fast' or 'not fast enough'. Or maybe, it's us that quit on our kids 'too fast', or we take action, but, 'not fast enough'. Either way, the responsibility stays where it lays, at the feet of the parent.
No comments:
Post a Comment